Excerpt from an email to my BFF Jerry dated November 18, 2006. I'm eventually planning to post all the old email excerpts about my mother that I have, and I'll make a post that links to them all in chronological order of when they actually occurred. This excerpt corresponds to my retelling in The Time My Mother Went Crazy in the Hospital Waiting Room:
My mom called tonight to tell me that my dad is in the ICU. Well, she actually called to complain that they aren't telling her over the phone why he is in there and to ask me to check into planes, trains, buses, and rental car possibilities to get her there tonight. She wants to yell at them in person to tell her what is going on, and be a nuisance. I actually think she wants a more dramatic way to fall ill, since doing it while on the road would be a major problem.
She went to the hospital today, she said. I didn't ask why until later when she asked, "AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK WHY I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL?!" I obliged, and apparently her stools are black, and she said the doctor wants to do a colonoscopy. This is silly since problems in the colon cause red blood and blood only turns black when it has gone through the digestive system (like when you have an ulcer), so the logical diagnostic would be an endoscopy (like a colonoscopy except from your mouth to your stomach), but whatever. She does what she wants. My dad and I each had one this year, so she must feel that she deserves one too. I hope she enjoys the prep for it because it is a sickening experience. Anyway, she ended up dissolving into tears about how everyone hates her and how her own brother said he won't loan her any more money to fund her insanity.
She said her mother is even yelling at her now, and if her own mother yells at her, well, she might as well end it all now (these were her words). I replied with random sympathetic sounds, but the word "irony" kept flashing in my mind. She sobbed about how I chose my "daddy" over her, faking a whiny child voice on the word "daddy," and complained about how everyone hates her and I hate her too. I didn't think any response I could give would help, so I sat quietly, flipping through my "The Daily Cocktail" book, trying to find something I have all the ingredients to make tonight.
When she finally asked if I hate her, I don't think my "no" could have sounded much more callous, but I don't really mind. I still answer some of her calls (though I admit we turned the ringer off on the phone), and she can't ask much more from me than that, as I see it. I think she is still trying to get money from me though since when I found bus times and prices for her, her next words were about how she couldn't afford anything and how would/where would she pay for them. I told her the station probably sells tickets. If she shows up in Cleveland, my dad will be mad enough as it is. I'm not paying to upset him. ::sigh::
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